Saturday, 13 December 2014

Why I write or make art

Wonder why I write. And I think I know. I had an inner voice that was my best guide before reason and emotions kicked in. The inner voice was first callously squashed and smothered between the tug of war that pits watertight reason against sweeping emotions and then was unrelentingly squeezed and shoved somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, attenuated by delusive defense mechanisms. By the time it was clipped and cramped to that little obscure voice in the head that I hear scantly on balmy blithe days(over a hot cup of tea), it covertly swerved itself into an ephemeral snitch looking for wily escapes. Sentience and experience has counseled me that escape it will so it better be through some creative avocation than volatile, high strung, outbreak which it scouts as frantic last ditch effort. It is these temperamental outbreaks that threaten to annihilate the trifle leftovers of peace in life that I cherish the most.

But I do not immediately see the writing on the wall. One of reasons is the motley of mollifying colored glasses through which I view my world with rose coloured bright hue at one end of the scale, vapid beige somewhere around the middle and jaundiced yellow at the other end. Throw in the dippy, fruity and nutty neons too. Also my inner voice fancies parking itself somewhere between the lines and prefers to remain cryptic in case I throw reason and  staggering emotions in its way again and again. Its makes it an exacting process for me peel the layers of my own charade that I had put together to hedge my own peace of mind so much so that now I have to rummage through the memory box to find the key to the very peace. What a catch 22 situation.

So while I am finding myself through my art and writing when it brings 'me too' moments its quite a catalyst for me to create more art or write more blog posts. I had seen through my blog settings that it has regular viewers from places like Turkey and Russia. So if you are reading my post do drop in a hello.

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